Well, the truth is that up until a
few years ago, I didn't know this either.
So take heart in the idea
that you're about to learn something that most men on this planet will DIE
not knowing.
My hope is that what I'm about to share with you will
change how you interact with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date
more of the kinds of women you're interested
in.
Onward.
FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
For women,
friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are
NOT the same.
One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it
happens.
Remember that.
One CAN lead to another, but it's
RARE.
"Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend"
relationships.
While most men would sleep with most of their female
"friends" if the woman "came on" to them, most women would NOT sleep with
most men that they consider "just friends".
But why is
this?
How do women differentiate between "just friends" and "I'll
be intimate with you"?
And why is it so hard to become "more than
friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" with for a long
time?
The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.
I
believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when
they want to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE
importantly,
understanding how women "know" when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with
a man...
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is
"friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS.
It's a
combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
It is NOT
logic.
She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she
might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either "being
with" or
"not being with" a particular guy.
But don't let that
distract you.
Logic isn't important AT ALL in this
context.
So let me say this another way.
A woman FEELS
something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as
the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a
particular
guy.
If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical"
conclusion will probably not be that she wants to date the guy in
question.
If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling,
then her "logical" conclusion will probably be that this guy is
interesting and attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At this point
she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts...
It goes like
this:
FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
First the FEELING, then the
THOUGHT... and THEN the action.
Now, with this in mind, let me ask
you an important question:
How do most guys behave around women
that they're "romantically" interested in?
And another:
What
do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with
them?
Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you
have paper and pen handy.
I'm serious. I'll wait.
Come back
when you're finished.
Now take a look at your list.
I'll bet
that almost every single thing on your list was something
"external".
In other words, your list probably contains things like
"Take her to dinner" and "Give her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and
"Call
her often".
These are all things that demonstrate that
he's INTERESTED.
They are NOT things that trigger those emotional
and physical feelings inside of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE
GUY.
In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW
HE'S INTERESTED...
...HOPING that when the woman sees these
displays she'll be interested in him.
Almost NONE of the things men
do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to
"Attraction" and "Arousal".
Of course, you know this.
You've
probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what
it's like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I'm
interested... only to have her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
The
PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at
once.
First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or
showing a woman that you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about
YOU.
In the moment it sure seems to make sense... "If I show her
how I feel, she'll return the feelings".
Duh.
Like I said,
it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner little
girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her
feelings for you.
And second, it communicates clearly that YOU
DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you're not hip to what's
going... and it
kills your chances with her.
Say
what?
You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show
how you feel can actually HURT your chances with a woman?
Yea, it
can.
Look, if you've been dating a woman exclusively for six
months, and her birthday comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell her
that you like spending time with her.
YOU'RE ALREADY IN A
RELATIONSHIP.
But if you've known a woman for six DAYS and you try
this kind of thing, you're going to shoot yourself in the
foot.
Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON'T GET IT. And if
you DON'T get it, PLUS you're trying to compensate for the fact
that
you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY
screwed (or not screwed, as the case may be).
Remember what I'm
about to tell you.
Burn it into your mind.
Write it on a
sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...
SINGLE,
ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW
WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND
THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO
DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING.
Keep in
mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They
shake their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get it... He doesn't get
it... He doesn't get it" over and over and over.
The point is that
if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for
you.
The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going
to need to take a totally different road to get where you're
going...
WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE
GUYS...
Let's return to where we started.
There are a few
particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
One
of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL
KILLERS.
A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these
things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of
success with a particular woman.
Here are a few of the BIG things
that single women hate:
1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange
For Her Attention And Approval
If I had to describe the one
single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would
be this.
It has taken me a long time to see this particular
pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your
approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in
control... and let YOU call the shots... and do anything to please YOU...
if you'll give me your attention and
approval".
But the problem
is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and
"manliness".
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and
tentative.
Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to
demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for
approval.
THEY HATE IT!
I could literally write an entire
book on this one single concept.
Take a few minutes to think this
one over, and maybe write down the ways that you make this mistake with
women.
More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING
IT IMMEDIATELY.
2) Being Needy, Clingy, And
Insecure
When one person "clings" to another person
"psychologically", the person who is being "clinged to" RESENTS and
REJECTS the needy,
clingy emotional parasite...
This is WUSS
behavior at its worst.
If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just
met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK.
Um, will you call me when you get home?".
Or let's say a guy and a
girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large
department store.
Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and
not leave her side for a minute.
If she wanders away, he'll come
find her IMMEDIATELY.
He'll stay physically close to her, as if
he's afraid she'll leave without him.
And an even worse example is
a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell
him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.
"Do you think I'm
interesting?"
"Do you think we could ever have a
relationship?"
"Am I your type?"
Women HATE this stuff. It
makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN
AWAY.
3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To
Lead
Women have WUSS-DAR.
One of the things that
triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.
The REAL problem
is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.
So you've got a
situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't
LEADING.
He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and
what to do... but he isn't getting them.
So what does he
do?
He ASKS for them!
He says "So, I was thinking of maybe
taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that
sound?".
Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm
trying to figure out what you want me to do... please help me know how you
want me to act, where you want me to take you, and what you want me to
say".
This is ATTRACTION DEATH!
men who don't lead, and even
worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SINGLE
WOMEN.
They HATE IT!
4) Using Insecure,
Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body
Language
There's a term that single, attractive, in-demand
women use to describe men who use weak, approval-seeking posture,
gestures,
comments, and mannerisms...
The term is
"NICE".
"He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."
This is
one of those areas that's not easy to talk about.
Since SO DAMN
MANY GUYS do this stuff, it's almost impossible to explain.
It's
like trying to tell a fish that they're not going to get anywhere in
life
if they stay wet.
The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in
the first place.
But let me try.
This is
important.
Go spend a day observing couples.
Go places where
couples that have just met spend time together.
Bars, clubs, coffee
shops, whatever.
Now watch the GUYS.
Watch how they lean
towards the women.
Watch how they raise their eyebrows in
exaggerated response to women's comments.
Watch how they
slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly at
whatever the women say.
If you're close enough, listen to how men
ask questions and make comments with a voice tone that says "I'm insecure
and I'm trying
to be extra nice to compensate for it".
You'll
see it EVERYWHERE.
In fact, you'll see it so much that you'll
probably write me back to tell me that I'm the one who's crazy, and that
since it happens so much, it must be "the right way".
Well, it's
not.
If there's one thing that triggers an attractive single
woman's WUSS-DAR, it's a man's posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone,
etc.
It all happens in an INSTANT.
Women read this stuff and
interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read and interpret the
cover of Playboy.
NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.
I'd say that
probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves with
women because of this problem.
Their voice tone, gestures, posture,
etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they're a WUSS.
They do a thousand
weird little things to let a woman know that they're uncomfortable and
"not being themselves".
And you guessed it...
Single women
HATE IT!
5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're
A Man
I'm about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool.
When it comes down to it, most men don't understand
women.
But the REAL kicker is that most men don't understand MEN,
either!
Most guys don't know what it's like to get in touch with
their MALE NATURE.
Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who
behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger ATTRACTION in women.
Women have
a "nature". A female nature.
Men also have a "nature". You guessed
it, it's a MALE nature.
Women are coy. They like to play hard to
get. They like to enjoy the chase. They love anticipation. They love to
"let a guy catch them"...
Men are competitive. Men are dominant.
Men like to play rough games, win things, and rule their
territory.
Well guess what?
Most men don't BEHAVE like men
when they're in the presence of a woman that they "like".
And since
most men don't understand female human nature, they don't demonstrate that
they "get it" when they're with women that they "like".
Women like
men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.
When
you're around a woman you like, don't act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy,
and it's not attractive...
And single women HATE
IT!
6) Not Being Interesting To Be
Around
Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out
is a "core belief" that goes like this:
"I don't believe that an
attractive woman would want to be around me just because she enjoys my
presence... so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things that I
hope she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those
other things enough, then
maybe she'll want to spend more time with me."
Heavy,
man.
Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a
guy isn't interesting to be around, they she's eventually going to go
CRAZY being around him.
In other words, no amount of material
gifts, compliments, dinners, and other "displays" will EVER compensate for
a lack of BEING INTERESTING.
Here's a profound thought:
I
and several other guys I know have many women who call us often... just
because they enjoy being around us.
These women would be happy just
to be in the same room with us... and enjoy our company.
And yes,
these women CALL US.
Often.
Material gifts, food, flowers,
and other "displays" have ZERO lasting value to a woman when it comes to
how she FEELS about you...
An attractive single woman wants a guy
who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.
She wants mystery... she
wants to laugh... she wants a challenge... she wants sexual
tension...
If you're using compliments, gifts, food, and other
"displays" to get a woman's attention... you need to ask yourself a tough
question:
Is it because you don't believe that a woman would want
to be around you just to be around you?
Because if you don't know
how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of compensation is going
to fix the problem.
If you're boring, predictable, and
uninteresting, then you're never going to have women calling YOU to hang
out.
Oh, and women HATE IT.
7) Not Understanding
Attraction
This is a BIGGIE.
You hear me talking about
it all the time, right?
Maybe now that you've read this newsletter
you'll have a better context to understand what I'm about to tell
you...
If you "get it" with women, it's SUPER INTERESTING and
ATTRACTIVE to them.
Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're with a
guy who "gets it".
Women know very quickly if they're talking to a
guy who understands himself and women... and who enjoys creating and
building sexual tension.
Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET
LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication".
If he doesn't, then she stops
all communication on that level.
If he does, then it
continues.
ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.
Attraction is an
emotional and physical RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a woman to
feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.
Attraction is the result
of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction works... and who
knows what to do in each specific
situation to progress to the next
level.
The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in
general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are
NOT
OBVIOUS.
They're "counter intuitive", in many
cases.
In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK
would make sense.
You have to do things like CREATE TENSION... stop
doing something that she likes... give her time to miss you...
etc.
And if you don't understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to
KNOW IT.
And guess what?
Single women HATE IT when a man
doesn't understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate on this "other
level".
Now that I've shared the mistakes, you need the next piece
of the puzzle. You need to get an education on how attraction works for
women... and the RIGHT things to do up front to give her those
emotional/physical feelings inside.
Right now you're probably
feeling that excited "Ah Ha!" feeling.
That's because you
understand something at a different level... you've used your mind to
understand something complex... and you feel good about bettering
yourself.
Well this is just the TIP of the iceberg.
As
educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.
If you're
starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life
handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to
a WORLD CLASS level.
And what's the best way to do
that?
Well, I've spent the last several years of my life figuring
out exactly what does and doesn't work with women.
I figured this
stuff out for MYSELF... and then I took what I've learned and put it all
together to help others learn as well.
My Double Your Dating eBook
represents THOUSANDS of hours of research, testing, getting to know guys
who were successful with women, and generally organizing every level of
this knowledge into an easy-to-understand system that ANY guy can use to
increase his success with women and dating.
And I'll tell you
something...
It works.
This eBook is the most advanced and
effective program of it's kind available anywhere at ANY price.
And
I have an offer that you're not likely to find repeated anywhere
else...
I'll send it to you at MY RISK.
You can try it out
for a full 7 days, and if you don't see MASSIVE results, just let me
know... and pay nothing.
That's right, you can try it FREE for
7
days.
On top of all that, I'd like to invite you to sign up for my
free, 3-times-weekly dating tips newsletter.
There's no
obligation, and you can easily remove yourself anytime. And believe me, I
hate spam as much as you do. You don't have to worry about me ever sharing
your email address with anyone.
Go here to
download my eBook and to sign up:
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Tips Newsletter And Download eBook •
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David
DeAngelo
________________________________________________________________
© 2001-2008 David DeAngelo Communications
Inc, All Rights Reserved." Double Your Dating" and "David DeAngelo" are
trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.
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